#i used to be a pretentious little shit lol

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1

wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)

bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:

[devilsskettle]

“sometimes it really doesn’t mean anything though, people just like gory movies and think they’re fun” “the writers didn’t intend that, it’s not that deep” okay and? there is never a one size fits all interpretation, this isn’t going to apply to every single movie that includes gore that has ever been made. but can’t we for once make a generalization that highlights what gore can and often does do instead of making a generalization about why it’s garbage and shouldn’t exist in any media? like can’t i just point out a legitimate general function of gore in many stories and why it can be valuable even in low brow movies that people look down on. also notice that i didn’t say this made gory media smarter or deeper, i didn’t say this had to be the writers’ intention, i said that these are still valuable stories to tell and that they have a place in our media landscape

the thing about “meaningless gore” is that even when it’s apparently not intellectual enough for so many people, it forces the viewer to confront the fact that they are just meat, they are mortal, they can and will eventually die, and pain is part of the human experience that unfortunately none of us will escape experiencing at one point or another. life is both horrifyingly fragile and surprisingly resilient which makes existing in a body a fraught experience regardless of whether we want to acknowledge that or not. “to watch a horror movie is to know that something bad is going to happen. to have a body is really the same thing.” anyway that in and of itself is plenty to grapple with and if a film decides to only deal with that, i don’t think it’s less valuable than any other theme a film might address 

[madamechrissy]

Take Me Home Tonight

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ Law Professor Satoru Gojo x Student Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Gojo is like 29 here, reader is like 22 or 23. Nothing too crazy. But is Professor/teacher forbidden type love. In this chap- oral sex (fem recieving) semi public sex, public play, a lap dance for the reader, basically them being cute and freaky lol

♡ ♡ Word Count ♡ ♡ this chap- 9.6k

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ After passing your LSATs, your friends take you out to unwind. You never go out, so you are awkwardly agree, and you end up in the arms of a super hot man named Satoru. You end up screaming Satoru's name as he drops down on his knees before you, only to lose him in the club. All you have is his first name. Two months later, in your Criminal Law class, your heart stops. Your teacher? Professor Gojo. Or as you soon call him, Professor Dickhead. You can't fuck up your law school, and he won't fuck up his career, not just because he makes you wet in class, no, he's a dick. Right? That pout and blue eyes don't wreck you, right? - Lawyer AU

Chapter 12 ♡ ♡ Masterlist ♡ ♡ Playlist

Chapter 13

Satoru’s parents do not open the door, no it’s a snobbish looking butler, who looks at you with disdain, then looks at Gojo and rolls his eyes. Gojo snorts, pulling you against his side and shoving past him, walking into the insanely decadent manor. If you thought Gojo’s place was fancy, this was ridiculous, paintings worth more than your life everywhere, and sleek white marble everywhere.

Chandeliers hang above your head, you look up in awe, and Satoru is chuckling as he walks you through. “Pretentious as fuck, aren’t they?”

You giggle a bit, looking at your handsome fiancé , grinning at you with those pretty straight teeth of his, lowering his blue shades with a wink. “Indeed they are. You grew up here?”

“Nah, mostly boarding schools. Thank God.” You hold onto him then, realizing there was still so much more to learn about your soon to be husband, you open your mouth but soon his parents walk in. His snobby mom and snobby father look so prim and proper as they walk to you all, Gojo waves. “Hey, parental units.”

“Is that what you call us now?” His mom asks, and you shiver as she comes near you, assessing you up and down, as if searching for a flaw. You remember what she said, what she did, it makes you sick.

“Well could call you a fucking bitch if you want.”

“Satoru!” His dad hisses out.

Satoru rolls his eyes, then they narrow on his father, as Satoru lets you go, cracking his knuckles, and you tense, surely he wouldn’t-

“Since I don’t hit women, you get two for threatening my fiancé.” Satoru Gojo punches his dad then, right in the stomach, and his father gets furious, going to swing on his own son, for Satoru to duck, scowling and punching him in the face. Satoru’s mom is flipping her shit, screaming out.

“Satoru stop it!” She demands, as you watch on in shock and awe, mouth wide open as Satoru glares at his mom.

“Well I can’t hit you, mom, so he needed to take your hit. That second one is for slapping her pretty face.” He says, through gritted teeth, as the butler has ran up an ice pack for Satoru’s father.

“You’re such a little shit, you always have been.” His dad says then, only for Satoru to grin, shaking out a hand that already has blood on the knuckles, throwing his head back as he laughs.

“I guess I really am. So, let me properly introduce you to my fiancé.” He says your name, pulling you to him and kissing your hand, as Satoru’s dad sits in one of the fancy seats of the dining hall, where they clearly had prepared some sort of meal for you all. “Show em the ring, shnookums.”

“Oh… um, it’s beautiful.” You say softly, as his mom snatches your hand, looking at it, then at Satoru. “We’re getting married tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow!? Satoru stop this, we already called the college, you have your job, and she has her position at the school-”

“We’re getting married regardless. Sorry, no invite for ya. Ooh, looks yummy!” Satoru starts popping the fancy macaroons and tarts in his mouth, moaning, as his mom assesses you. You hand her the envelope with the money then, she blinked in surprise. “Oh yeah, can’t buy her off. Plus that wasn’t shit for money, cheap asses.”

“Well we figured since she’s so poor-”

“I was poor. I am not anymore.” You correct, and his mom sighs, tossing back her silvery hair and gesturing for you to sit.

“We are… sorry that we…” His father can’t even finish his sentence, instead slamming back a whiskey. “Ow.”

Satoru snorts. “Can’t even finish your bullshit, huh father? Oooh yum.” Satoru now is stuffing cream puffs in his mouth, and yanks you onto his lap, causing his parents to scowl, affronted as you sit on a long leg. Satoru shoves a cream puff in your mouth, and you bite into the sweetness, moaning. “Fuck you’re hot.”

“Satoru, really?” His dad demands, and he just grins, licking whipped cream off his thumb, as you marvel at how fucking strong he is, how he gives just no fucks, your crazy Toru.

“Anyway, we’re getting married, and she will own part of the company with me, fuck I won’t do a pre nup even, because I know she’ll run you all into the ground even if she leaves me.” He chuckles deviously, sipping on some juice and pouring you a glass.

“I’ll never leave you, silly man.” You say softly, and Satoru exhales, kissing you right in front of his parents, earning his mother smacking the table.

“Enough of this! How much do you all need to not marry? A hundred thousand, two hundred thousand?”

You smile then, looking right at her. “No amount of money could make me not marry your son.”

“Thatta girl.” He pinches your hip with a charming smirk, and somehow even his parents’ cold manor is comfy, when Satoru has you. Satoru is your home .

You’re so lucky.

“A million?” His father asked, and you giggle now.

“No amount in the world. Despite you all being some of the worst parents I have ever seen, and that’s saying a lot from a foster kid, I absolutely adore the man he’s become, no thanks to you.”

“You insolent little bitch.” His father says, and Satoru grins psychotically, as he studies his dad and his swelling face.

“I’ll add two more hits for that.”

“You will not! Stop it.” Satoru’s mom scowls at her husband, and he grumbles, holding his glass out for another drink. “Let’s be rational. I fixed the situation, the one you both caused with recklessness!”

“The one you caused, putting money in pockets. You always have had a silver spoon in your mouth, but that’s going to change soon.” Satoru says, and his mom narrows her eyes.

“What do you mean?”

Satoru grins “It means that when we marry, we’re going to own fifty one percent of this shit show, and guess what? You can’t buy me, you can’t bully me, and you can’t lie to me anymore. If you dare come near her again, I will make sure your reputation is ruined and I will have you fired from your own company. I have enough dirt on you both to do just that."

The silence in the room is deafening, and you look at Satoru curiously, sensing he has more up his sleeve, it’s as if he’s in full lawyer mode, and fuck if that isn’t always the most attractive thing. His hand is gripping your waist tightly, the other grabbing his cell phone, as he shoots you a little wink, and you’re wrapping your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek, to his parents dismay.

Satoru's mother's hand flutters to her chest, her eyes wide with shock, while his father's hand trembles as he holds onto his drink, trying to keep a firm grip. The air is thick with tension, and you can almost taste it on your tongue, you can sense their fear of their own son, who has become so strong away from them. What must it have been to have lived with them you shudder to think of it.

"What... what are you talking about?" His father finally stammers, playing dumb, but you know better. You've seen the way they've treated Satoru, heard the whispers, felt the coldness in their eyes every time they look at you, for them to suddenly put on some innocent air is hilarious.

Satoru's smile turns into a full-blown grin, a wicked glint in his eye. "Oh, come on, dad. You didn't think I'd just let you get away with this, did you? Either of you, oh and you’re both such whores and so easy to trail." He pulls out his phone, swipes through some messages, and holds it up for them to see.

“What on earth!” Satoru’s mom gasps as she looks at the image, and Satoru chuckles, showing you his father with what appears to be a… lady of the night?... your eyes bug out nearly, as his dad sputters.

“Well, that’s not me!”

“It sure looks like you!” His mom shoves at his father, and Satoru is wickedly smirking, wiggling his thin white brows, as you marvel silently.

 "You see, I've been keeping tabs on your little... indiscretions. And I've got enough evidence to ruin your ‘Gojo’ reputation, oh and your marriage. But Mother , you’re also so slutty!"

“What, I never!” She glares, but Satoru’s shoulders are shaking with laughter as he pulls up another photo, and you flush as you see it’s his mother and a pool boy, before he shows them, and Satoru’s father stands angrily. “That’s not me!”

“That’s Antonio, the pool boy, and you , my god!” His dad shouts, and his mom stands then, slapping his dad in the same cheek Gojo punched.

“You’re cheating too!”

“You’re both horrible, but that pool boy seemed so nice when I spoke to him. He’s down to say all sorts of interesting things, as is your hooker, Father. So…”

“Satoru, please stop this! We’ll leave you alone.” His mom says then, sullenly, and you watch Lawyer Gojo just smash another case as he taps your thigh and you stand, holding his hand, which he kisses with a wink.

“We will… not bother her again.” His father grumbles, as you see them seething, wanting to kill each other, clearly.

“Yeah, keep Naoya the fuck away too, he’s a goddamn murderer, what is wrong with you two? Their money that good?”

His mother's face pales, and she opens her mouth to protest, but no words come out. You squeeze his hand, your heart racing. “Naoya is sentenced tomorrow, so likely he will be in prison for life.” His mom says, and Satoru looks down at you, as you smile up at him.

“Killed that case.” You whisper, and he purrs, kissing you, as his parents watch quietly.

"Now, I suggest we sit down and have a civilized conversation about this. Unless you'd rather I start making some calls and sharing your scandalous behavior? God what will the church say you two sinners!" He says, his dramatic, a hand to his chest, and you barely hold in your snort of laughter.

The room is a flurry of movement as they both scramble to sit back down, desperation etched on their faces. The power dynamics have shifted, and you can't help but feel like you're watching some damn snake charmer in action, like Satoru can control the vipers his parents are, and he’s pretty damn happy, you feel it radiating everywhere.

"Alright, let's talk," his mother says, her voice shaking slightly. "What do you want?"

Satoru leans back in his chair, pulling you back down to his lap, their lips terse as they watch you both, but they say nothing as you nuzzle him, so madly fucking in love with this man who gives no fucks. This man who will do anything for you, and you can’t believe just how lucky you are. Satoru Gojo has investigated his own parents to keep you safe, to be with you.

Satoru speaks now, as you brush back his silky hair, as you study this amazing man you’re to marry. "I want you to leave us alone. I want you to accept that we're getting married, and we're going to run this company together. And if you so much as breathe a word of disrespect towards my fiancé again, I'll make sure you never see the light of day in the corporate world, and are dirt fucking poor, ruined."

There is a quiet moment as they look at each other, then they sigh, literally at the same time. You watch Gojo preen like a peacock, so proud, and you’re proud of him too. "Fine," his father says, his voice gruff. "But we expect you to behave like the Gojos you are. No scandals, no drama."

"No worries, there. We're just going to live our lives, make some babies, and run our own law firm." He touches your tummy, and you can’t stop the heat from radiating from his touch, from his little wink as his blue eyes look at you under those shades.

A baby.

It sounds more and more like something you want the more he teases you, perhaps not yet, for you have to finish law school, but you see babies in your future, you see a few babies. Maybe a little boy with white hair like his dad, mischievous and smart, and a sweet little girl like you, a feisty smart cookie.

That idea makes you ache, do you have baby fever now!? Damn Satoru Gojo makes it hard not to. You try to focus. "Law firm?" His mother echoes, looking at you with renewed interest.

You nod, feeling a surge of courage. "Yeah, we're going to help people who can't help themselves. Make the world a better place, one case at a time, aren’t we Toru?" You ask him with a big grin, and he nods at you, grinning right back.

“Sure the fuck will. Gonna have little lawyer kids, family firm.”

“If they want to!” You say, and he kisses your neck, hands firm on your waist as he shamelessly nuzzles you.

“If they want to, we won’t push our kids to do what they don’t want.” He glare behind his shades is right back on his parents. Satoru's parents exchange a look that you can't quite read, but you suspect it's a mix of shock and disbelief. "So, we're clear, yeah? You'll stay out of our personal lives, and we'll run the company like the adults we are, fairly."

“We think we can do that. Could we at least plan a big wedding, you’re the heir of the Gojo family-”

“No, and you’re not invited. But, you can send her a generous gift.” Satoru says, as his mom’s face falls, you’d almost feel bad if you didn’t know how horrible of a woman she was, pretty as she was on the outside.

His father sighs. “Fine, we’ll send a gift.” He says.

"And one more thing.” Satoru says. "If you ever, and I mean ever, try to bribe, blackmail, or otherwise manipulate my fiance again, I will take you down."

“We got that, Jesus Satoru. You’re clearly infatuated.” His mom grumbles, sipping on a mimosa now, as you feel their defeat, and it makes you way too happy.

"We're going to be happy, you know. Me and your son.” You speak up finally, and they both look at you curiously. “I will be a good wife to him, and a good mother to any children we have, I will never abandon him, I will be by his side, whether I fit your ideal for a wife or not. Our happiness is not something you can control or take away."

Satoru's mom looks at you, her eyes narrowed, but you see a flicker of something in them, something that might just be a hint of respect. Or maybe it's fear of Satoru, but either way, you feel Satoru���s warmth under you, and see the emotion on his face, which he quickly controls. You know he can’t let others see him, especially his vulture parents.

“I think we have an understanding?” They nod. “Good deal, knew you two were smart… somewhat.”

They roll their eyes, but you smile.

“We have a lot to do, it’s a bachelor party tonight you know. Bachelor and bachelorette? I don’t know, we have a strip club to go to, oh and so much fucking to do, you know. Gonna make babies.” He chuckles as he stands, and picks you up bridal style, to his parents’ horrified looks. “Nice seeing you all again.”

Satoru walks you right out then, in his arms, through the extravagant halls of the Gojo mansion, and you’re wrapping your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek over and over. Soon he has you in the back of the car, as his driver Ijichi smiles at you both, looking tired.

“How did it go, Mr. Gojo?” He asks, and Satoru grins, tapping his shoulder and tipping him hundreds. “Oh, that well?”

“So well. That’s to ignore her moans, she’s so loud.” Ijichi blushes as much as you do, as you’re dragged into the back of the limo, and he’s pulling you on his lap, grinning so pretty at you.

“Satoru Gojo, you’re amazing. Beyond amazing.”

"You were incredible," he whispers in your ear, his breath hot against your skin while he kisses it, firm lips pressing on delicate skin, and your hands shake as they cling to his shoulders. "So strong, so brave."

“Me brave, you! Fuck you did an investigation!” He chuckles, as his big hands grip your hips over your pretty blue dress he bought you this morning.

“I’m Satoru Gojo baby, what did you expect? Fuck them.”

“Do you ever think they’ll change?” You whisper, stroking his cheek, and he shakes his head.

“They’ve always been that way. I don’t have any hope they’ll change, my only hope is now they know they can’t touch you.” You blink back emotions, as tears threaten to spill, Satoru sighs as a couple escape. “God you’re pretty crying.”

“God you’re pretty all the time.” He smirks.

“That’s you baby girl.”

“We’re both pretty.” You murmur, leaning forward, as now you feel his excitement pressing between your thighs, and you heat up, tension pooling in your lower tummy, as you feel his breaths against your ear.

“I love you, baby girl. I need you, now, please.” He pleads so sexy, sliding your panties to the side and slipping two fingers in, making you moan, your head falling back for his hot kisses. “You’re so wet for me, baby.”

“Need you, need you too.” You whisper back, and he loses it, hurriedly unsnapping his belt with a click, and you’re unzipping him, revealing his hard cock straining against his boxers, which you shove down, almost falling. He catches you with a nervous laugh, as he takes the sight of you in.

“You’re so fucking cute.” He says softly, then he’s sliding his length, stretching you out so much, so full, you gasp, wincing at that stretch, and he’s exhaling, his breath cool against your breasts, hands sliding to your hips. “Oh my god so tight.”

“You’re so thick… fuck…” You whimper, and he eats it up, with his hungry kisses, allowing you to adjust before he moves, and you’re riding Satoru Gojo’s cock in the back of a limo, soaking his length as you roll your hips, watching his pretty face contort in pleasure. His hands grab you everywhere, taking over your entire body, leaning back in his seat, watching you.

“God, you’re pretty.” He says softly, yanking your dress down, your breasts bouncing out for his hungry eyes. “Fuck.”

“Fuck!” You cry out a moment later, as he’s kissing around an areola, sucking it into his hot, wet mouth as you’re bouncing up and down, his hands on your ass, those swirling blue eyes looking up at you.

“Mmm, that’s it.” He whispers, little strings of saliva dripping from his lips as he sucks on your other nipple, hands gripping your ass as it shakes from your thrusts, as you hear your skin smacking his. “Ride me so fuckin good, pretty girl, don’t you?’

“Toru!” You’re a mess, thigh muscles struggling as you sit down on his cock so deep, his tip leaking and grinding on your cervix. “Can’t move.”

“You’re weak, little brat.” He teases, but you whine, nodding, as he starts moving you, lifting you up and down his length with ease, pistoning his hips so his cock is wrecking your pussy now. You feel him so deep, fucking in your stomach, deeper, as you feel yourself closer and closer. “That’s it, baby girl, cum for me.”

How can you not cum for Satoru Gojo, as his thick length is stretching you, as his eyes are locked on yours, as he’s urging you on. You fall apart, pussy throbbing around him, and he hisses at how good it feels, as you’re gushing wetness down his pants, all down to those fancy leather seats of the limo. You hear your squishing, how wet you are as he pounds up into you.

His brows are drawn together, his pale cheeks flushed with pink, his pouty lips parted as he gasps, and holds you up, leaning further back into the seat, as he pumps your pussy full, as you look down and see your slickness pooling around the white hair on his pelvis. You brace yourself on his hard chest, feeling his heart thudding against your palm, as you lean forward, and he captures your lips.

You drink in his moans, as he sips up your cries, and you’re holding yourself up as much as you can so he can fuck into you harder, your lips breaking apart, eyes rolling back as he’s kissing up your jaw. Satoru’s moaning in your ear is far too sexy, that husky deep sound as he slows, rolling his hips and pulling your hair.

“Miss Brat, your pussy is far too good, I’m gonna sue you for… misuse of… kegals.” You giggle breathless, as he slows more, and you ease down on him, trying to move, all sweaty despite the cool air in the limo, looking right into his bright eyes, lidded with desire.

“I only do kegals as - fuck! Toru…” He’s pushing you down, his hand sliding between you to roll a circle on your clit with his thumb, and you’re falling apart all over him again, crying out as you cum harder.

He smirks, biting his lower lip between those sharp teeth, raising a brow as he watches as your orgasm hits you. “Can’t even… mmm… finish an argument, huh Miss Brat? Under… pressure…”

“F-fuck! Okay… I use kegals for you and to make you cum fast- ah!” Satoru is scowling as he smacks your ass, and you’re giggling breathlessly, but it dies when he’s got you laid out on the long limo seat, laying on top of you, as you’re a trembling mess under him.

“Objection.” He huffs, and you can’t laugh, he’s shoved his cock to the hilt, dragging the tip on your g spot, overstimulating you as his heavy balls are smacking against your ass.

“Objection to what!? Fuck, Toru, there, there!”

“No. Sustained.” You laugh again, and earn a scowl. “You can laugh, huh, not fucking you hard enough, baby.”

“I-what- ah!” Now Satoru is fucking you so hard it’s brutal, mean cock bullying into your entrance over and over, as his long fingers wrap your throat, squeezing and making everything fuzzy. “You’re rusty, Professor, sustained- ah- doesn’t… fuck, doesn’t apply!”

“Fucking brat, swear to-” He’s slamming harder, raising your thigh up to where your feet are on his shoulder, then you can’t take it, you’re a writhing mess, as he’s whining out softly, kissing up your ankles, even the tops of your feet as he pounds you, such a contradiction.

Your pussy is struggling to accommodate him, as he’s slamming that cervix at a bruising pace, unrelenting. You’re losing oxygen as he squeezes your throat tighter, as he takes over everything you are, igniting that insane heat in your core that is about to spill over. Your tits bounce with every thrust, and he moans as he watches.

“Play with em, law student. Now.” He orders gruffly, releasing your throat and bracing himself on the seat, and you eagerly oblige, grabbing them and squeezing, earning his moan, and his cock twitching inside of you. “You’re so sexy, oh my god, yes baby, pinch those nipples.”

You cry out as he’s rolling his hips inside you, as you’re a slick mess, your cunt sucking his thick length in over and over, head falling back into the seat as you pinch your nipples for him. Satoru’s leaning lower now, kissing your throat, biting it so hard it hurts, but fuck it feels good, you take your hands off your breasts to cling to his muscled back over his suit jacket, pressing into the expensive material.

“Toru, Toru, baby!” You whine out, as he licks a trail up your throat, cupping your face with one hand now, tilting your chin up.

“Look at me, pretty.” You push yourself to focus, as he’s gone blurry with all your pleasure, and he exhales, kissing you deeply, you taste his sweetness, his essence, maddening as his cock finally slows. “I love you.”

“I love you so much Toru.” You whisper back, kissing him desperately as his weight is on you, and he’s grabbing your hips, your dress hopelessly scrunched up around your torso. “Cum in me, please, please.”

“Need me to fill you so bad, slutty brat?” He asks, and you just nod, brow furrowing as he’s caressing your face so lovingly, breath tickling your lips. “Beg for it, pretty girl. Let me know how bad you need it.”

“Oh please, Toru. Please, cum in me. Put your babies in me.” You say hoarsely, eyes locking on his, and you watch him fall apart, and feel his thrusts go hard, so hard he’s fucking you deep into those seats, jerking your entire body.

“Gonna fill you so full, so full, put so many kids in you. You want em, don’t you pretty girl?” You nod at his soft, pleading words, then Satoru makes that little sound you love so much, that whine from the back of his throat, as he pumps you full, and he cums so much, more than usual. You’re shaking as you take it, as he’s crying out, gripping you and kissing you over and over.

You’re both gasping for breath as he eases finally, studying your face and brushing your hair back gently, thumb stroking your cheek. “Toru, I love you. I can’t wait to marry you.” You whisper, tears falling from the overwhelming sensations of cumming, of his love, of his touch, of him .

Satoru’s own eyes go glassy, as he gulps, kissing you softly. “And I love you, Miss Brat. I can’t wait to marry you.”

You both struggle to come to as you kiss over and over, as he’s gently adjusting your dress, as he’s stroking your body, as you cling to him, sitting up now, and he’s rubbing your back. You fall into him, loving him so deeply it’s physically painful, not imagining a life before Satoru Gojo, before your home. He notices you sobbing and peers back, concerned.

“Baby girl, was that too much?”

“No, it was perfect. Oh Toru I just…”

“What is it Shnookums?” You giggle through your tears, making him smile as he holds you, as you touch his face, as he brushes your tears.

“I fall deeper every day. It’s so hard to handle, my heart just aches, as I love you more and more.” He kisses you fervently, then, pulling you so close, like you two couldn’t get close enough, and he has you back in his lap, but sitting to the side, cradling you, looking at you deeply.

“Making me a fucking baby.” He grumbles, making you laugh finally through your tears. “I fall deeper every moment, even when I watch you sleep, like a little snoring angel.”

“Hey!”

You’re both laughing then, and you sigh. “I couldn’t be happier. Fuck I never imagined this.”

“Neither did I. Y’know we got anything together. Yeah?” You grin, nodding.

“Yeah we do. Toru, are we really going to a strip club?”

“Sure are, I wanna see you get a lap dance. Plus dragging serious ass Nanami will be so fucking awkward. Oh, that Yuta kid too. It’s gonna be good.” Satoru’s grinning deviously, and you roll your eyes at him. “C’mon, you’ll love it. I won’t really look at any of them, I have you.”

“Oh I don’t care if you watch a girl dance, silly. But… it does sound kind of fun, I’ve never been. I can’t believe we’ll be married tomorrow!?”

“I know, it’s crazy. We could wait, if you’re scared, chicken.”

“Am not, jerk!” You stick your tongue out and you both laugh as you head home to get ready, you’re not even sure what to expect.

The neon lights of the strip club are glowing different colors, casting a sultry glow over the elaborate decorations that adorned the walls. This was clearly some fancy club, the servers were topless wearing little plaid mini skirts, and the bars had gorgeous bartenders, smiling and ready to get you all whatever you want.

“Gojo! You’re getting married!” The owner comes up to Gojo, shaking his hand enthusiastically, then smiles down at you, you instantly recognize him.

“Sukuna!?” He laughs, coming to give you a kiss on the hand and winking at you. “No wonder we drove so far for this club!”

“It’s the best, I’ll have you know. Fuck I can’t believe you’re getting married, you better not have a divorce, I’ll snatch her up.” He says with his grin on his tanned, handsome face, and Satoru scoffs, rolling his eyes and putting an arm around you.

“Not happening, you know it. She gets fucked too good.” You’re blushing under the lights as Sukuna’s dark brows raise.

“Oh, a challenge?”

“Not a challenge, Toru, don't just say that!” You hiss, but he’s smirking. “Did his hoe ass frequent this place?”

“How dare you assume that!” Satoru scowls, and Sukuna chuckles.

“Nah, not really, but he’d come every now and then to just throw money on the stage, the girls loved him. Don’t think he ever got a dance. Ya gonna get one on your last night?”

“Nah.”

“You can!” You say, and Sukuna sighs.

“She’s perfect, I’m really fucking jealous.”

“Of course she is. But no, I wanna get her a good dance later.” He whispers, as if you can’t hear, and Sukuna hums, rubbing his chin.

“That sounds hot. I can do that, but can I watch.”

“Fuck no.”

“Tch, you’re no fun Gojo.” He glares at him, as Gojo glares back, and you wonder if these two idiots will fight again, but Suguru and Nanami are there, along with Maki and an embarrassed Yuta, who hands you a drink.

“Thank you!” You smile at him, leaning close. “Are you nervous?”

“Never been to one!” He says, his tired eyes looking even more tired, you wonder if Maki’s even letting him sleep, she’s all horned up lately she says. You giggle at the thoughts, earning Yuta’s pout.

“Is she letting you sleep?”

“No, she’s a fiend. Fuck don’t tell her that!”

“Tell me what?” Makin grins as she steps close, leaning forward, that emerald hair falling over her bare shoulder. Yuta blushes, and you can’t stop your smile.

“Yuta was saying he wants to fuck you more , Maki. Like he needs more and more-”

“I’m dying!” He screams out, and you’re laughing as Maki attacks him with her kisses again. Nanami and Suguru step up to the dancers, Nanami looks so awkward it’s adorable, where Suguru seems perfectly comfortable you notice.

Satoru’s arms wrap around you now, and you peek up at him. “So baby girl, you’re getting a lap dance lesson.”

“Am I now?”

“Mmhmm, the only dance I want is from you.” You melt at him then, peering up at his cerulean depths, twinkling with mischief, as you cup his face, thumb running across his stubborn chin. He nuzzles your hand so sweetly.

“You’re perfect.”

“I know.”

“Hey!” He’s chuckling, and you love feeling his chest shake as he does, god you love everything about him. You keep falling deeper into the abyss that is your white haired, lawyer fiance. “Let’s have fun with them first!”

“Oh fine, brat. I guess we should. But…” He leans forward, whispering into the shell of your ear, as his hands grab your ass, pulling you against his hard, lithe body, and you’re reminded of that night at the club, where you met. “I wanna fucking lick you in a bathroom again.”

“You’re so pervy, no!” He’s chuckling, and you heat up at the thought, he can tell when your lashes lower, when you bite your lip.

“You’re so slutty for me, you want to.”

“Uh-uh!”

“Uh-huh. C’mon, let’s go party baby girl, last night before you’re officially my wifey.”

“I can’t wait to be Mrs. Gojo.”

“Mrs. Gojo, fuck that’s hot.” He’s kissing you right there, as strippers, clients, servers all walk by, many awwing and oohing at you two lovers. “C’mon, let's corrupt the rest of that innocent nature.”

Soon you are up towards the stage, where beautiful dancers are swirling around poles, doing splits, so flexible you’re enamored, all in glittery outfits covering basically nothing. Satoru is shoving Nanami up and beckoning the women over to him, making the tall, buff professor Nanami a blushing mess. Maki is with you as you all tip the dancers and Yuta is looking at anything else.

“Yuta come tip them, you chicken?” Maki teases, sticking her tongue out, and he is groaning as he slinks up.

“Don’t be mean, Maki. Yuta only wants to look at you.” You say with a wink, and then Maki looks at him, for Yuta to nod, brushing his black hair back.

“Aww fuck, that’s cute. C’mere.” She’s smacking kisses on him again, and you imagine Yuta isn’t going to get that sleep, as Geto saunters up to you, scooching a seat right next to you.

“Last night of freedom, you wanna spend it with me, love?” Geto teases, and you snort in laughter, shaking your head and smacking at him playfully.

“Oh you’re so full of it!” You snort, sipping your cosmopolitan as you all watch one of the performers. “Holy fuck, how do they bend that way?”

“I’d throw my back out.” You both laugh again, and you put a hand on Geto’s thigh then, making him wiggle his brows. “Are you reconsidering the offer?”

“Shut it! I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you all, especially coming tomorrow for us.” He sighs, slinging an arm around your shoulders and popping a kiss on your cheek.

“Of course, Satoru is my family, now you will be.” You get emotional in the middle of a damn strip club, smiling tremulously at him then, and he taps your nose playfully, smiling. “Don’t you cry at your bachelorette party.”

“It’s my party, I’ll cry if I want to.”

“Oooh, you have the best song lyrics, Shnookums.” Satoru says then, pulling his seat next to you and slinging an arm around you, crossing his ankle over his knee. You lean over and kiss him, giggling.

“I love the eighties. Remember that song that played out in the first dance?” He grins.

“Of course I do. Take Me Home Tonight.” You melt then, giggling, as Suguru watches you two with a smile.

“You all are sickeningly cute.” He says then, and Satoru is brushing your hair back gently, as you look up at him with glittery eyes.

“You really remembered?” You whisper, making Satoru sigh, cupping your face now, and it’s like there’s nothing else in that room, like that night, it overwhelms you especially when his firm lips press on yours.

“Of course I remember, Miss Brat. It was Eighties hour or some shit, but how wouldn’t I remember that song? Miss ‘I can’t dance’! Whatever. Excuse for me to ‘teach you’.”

“Was not!”

“Mmhmm, sure. Sugu, are you trying to give her a wild night or what?” You gasp then, scowling at Satoru’s grin, then looking at Suguru who is tipping a stripper, smirking back at you both.

“Sure I’m down. We're just gonna share again?” Your mouth is dropped open again, eyes darting back and forth.

“Already has her mouth open, what a good girl.” Satoru says, hand on your thigh, sliding up, you smack at him then.

“You stop fucking with me, both of you! You would never share.” You’re glaring at Satoru, and he snorts then, leaning far too close.

“No, I wouldn’t, but you thought about it, slutty brat.” He whispers, earning your shove at his hard chest.

“You’re so full of shit, Toru. You two are the worst! Maybe you both should get married instead.” You stand, crossing your arms, for them to both drag you back down to your seat, and you huff.

“I love to tease you, it’s too fun. Suguru, you notice her thighs shifting?” You about smack your fiancé, but Suguru stands then, laughing as he holds up an empty drink.

“You do have those legs, how do I not notice?” Suguru teases, chocolate eyes squinting and crinkling at the corners as he laughs.

“You stop encouraging him!”

“I’ll go get a drink, you can use me as bedroom talk, I don’t mind.” You throw an empty cup at his back then, only for him to laugh, bending down and picking it up, bonking Satoru in the head, who’s laughing so hard he has tears in his pretty blue eyes.

“Fuck you both!” Suguru’s shoulders shake as he goes up to the bar, flirting with the pretty bartender, whispering something in her ear. “He’s a hoe.”

“He really is.”

“So are you!”

“Reformed, brat. Remember? All reformed, now you really gonna say you wouldn’t do it?” He teases, brushing your hair back and whispering in your ear, as the alcohol warms your tummy and the club music is pounding like your pulse thrumming under your skin, as you realize how turned on you are in the atmosphere. “Can feel that heat from here.”

“From the… environment… that’s my alibi.” You whisper, and he chuckles, nipping your earlobe with his teeth, slipping that hand higher under your little skirt, thumb so close to where you’re wet it’s ridiculous. “Satoru…”

“Fuck.” He whispers then, as his thumb feels the damp spot forming in your panties. “You are so slutty, Miss Brat, want two professors?”

“Maybe… maybe kiss you both.” You tease, and he laughs softly, biting your neck as you nervously close your thighs.

“Just kiss, nothing else huh?” You giggle breathlessly, as you feel your body overheating everywhere, leaning close and kissing him, his free hand turning you so he can rub your folds over your panties unnoticed. You struggle to hold in your cry, as he watches you intently. “Not us both drinking you, huh Niagara?”

“Fuck off, Satoru!” You hiss quietly, but you whimper as the spot grows, until you’re sticky and soaked.

“Mmm, I’m using this as evidence for my case.” You roll your eyes, shaking your head and leaning back, hips bucking up involuntarily, making him grin like mad.

“What case, Professor?”

“The case you wanna fuck all the professors.”

“Only the white haired one, thank you.” You kiss him softly, arms wrapping around his neck, as his fingers press that material between your lips, pulling at it and pressing on your clit. It twitches in response, as you try to keep your sounds in, as he’s so shamelessly touching you in secret at the club.

“The white haired one? The prettiest one?” He whispers.

“The prettiest one there ever was. The prettiest Princess Satoru.” You tease with a grin, but it’s cut off when he slips under the side of your panties and finds you naked, moaning softly, his lips just barely against yours, hovering. “Ya like that, being my Princess Toru?”

“You’re the Princess, Brat, I’m just a little frog.”

“Handsome prince frog.” He slips his finger away, sucking on it then and shutting his eyes, and you damn near jump him in a room filled with strippers, patrons, people all in various stages of undress, and Satoru’s eyes are on you .

“Fuck you taste so good, always. How am I gonna make it through a dance I’m hard as fuck.”

He winces, adjusting himself into his waistband, and you’re blushing as you watch your effects on him, how his thick length shows even in his dark blue jeans. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck. Brat.”

“Me, you did it!”

“Fuck I want you now, I can’t handle it, bet she’s so wet I could drink her.” You whine out loud, earning his lidded gaze, as he’s got his hand entangled in your hair, kissing you over and over, tongue swirling in your mouth. “Let’s do this dance now before I can’t stand not fucking you. I’ll be right back.”

You kiss him over and over, and then peer to see Maki dragging Yuta into a room for a dance, you give her a thumbs up and she blows you a kiss, then you see that Suguru is… well, he’s making out with that bartender in the corner. You roll your eyes, realizing he’d have to take over Satoru’s sluttiness now, and then he shoots you a wink, earning your laugh.

You walk up to Nanami, who is looking a little less uncomfortable, but is not approaching the stage, instead studying his glass. You sit next to him and he smiles softly at you. “Mr. Nanami, you should get a dance. I’m getting one.”

“Are you now?” He asks, sipping his whiskey as he crosses his legs, clad in a fancy three piece suit. “This isn’t my atmosphere. I’m a little more conservative I suppose.”

“Mr. Nanami, you give freak energy.” He sputters and you’re shaking with laughter. “It’s a good thing!”

“Oh dear God. I am not sure what that means.” You sigh, patting his shoulder, stiff from him being so tense.

“I see all the ladies checking you out, you know.”

“Yes well…”

Satoru comes up with two women, and he gestures to Nanami, who’s blushing on his strong cheekbones. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“You’re getting a dance, now be a gentleman and let the lady work.” Satoru says with a wink, as a pretty blond drags Nanami away, who finishes his drink quickly, letting her yank him by his cheetah tie.

“Good call, Satoru.” You say, and he grins at you, as he introduces you to the pretty brunette in front of you, dressed in a G string and a tiny little silver bikini top, and nothing else, making you a little nervous of where to look. “Hello!”

“Hello beautiful, she is so pretty, you’re right!” She says to Satoru, and he grins, his hand on your waist.

“Oh you’re so sweet.” You say shyly, as the lady takes your hand gently in hers. “Are we…”

“You’re getting a dance, bachelorette. And of course your fiancé is going to watch. Are you comfortable with me touching you?” She asks then, as you’re now led into a huge VIP room, with burgundy and red plush seats, it’s super dark in there aside from red LEDS lighting up from the ceiling.

“Um, touching me?” You look at her in confusion, and then at Gojo, who’s helping you sit on the plush seat, sitting right next to you.

“With girls I tend to be a little touchy if they like. But only if you’re okay with it.” She says softly, and she makes you feel comfortable, clearly a professional, and you look to Gojo again.

“It’s fine with me, baby girl, it’s up to you.” He says, as she now spreads your thighs, slipping your skirt up, and you gasp at just that, Satoru’s eyes are hungry as he watches you. “I just want to watch you.”

“Just watch huh?” You say, but he nods.

“I love seeing a devoted fiancé, it’s so rare.” She says, and you melt as you realize that really is what Satoru is. He’s had eyes for you all night, like you’re the most beautiful girl in the room, in a sea of naked women, he’s all about you. It makes you melt more and more for him.

“He is, but so am I.” You say then, holding his hand, and he brings it to his lips, brushing a kiss on your knuckles and winking.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m gonna enjoy a girl on you. I’m still a hoe.” You snort, and the dancer laughs, as she bends low now, kissing your thighs, making you tense, as you’re clinging to the arms of the chair, and she bends down, her eyes looking at you, hands sliding up and down your thighs. “Jesus I won’t make it.”

“It’s your idea!” He sighs, swiping a hand on his face as he turns, staring intently at you as the dancer turns, bending over and rocking her hips between your thighs, taking your hands and putting them on her hips. “Can I do that!?”

She laughs softly. “Yes, you can. Relax, sweetie, it’ll be fun. Maybe you can learn some moves for your fiancé?” You bite your lip nervously, looking back at Satoru as your hands grip her firm waist, toned from dancing, and then she’s turned again, straddling you, her long legs on either side of you. “My prettiest client ever.”

“Oh stop!” You’re a mess, blushing everywhere if that’s possible, as the music from the club thrums quietly in the room, and you feel the heat and the energy taking over, her body sliding against yours, as Satoru is sipping his drink and his eyes are sliding down your body. “You’re pretty too.”

“Thank you, you’re so sweet. Most girls are not so nice.” You frown then a bit, and she shakes her head. Gojo smirks a bit, knowing you’re so fucking sweet you feel bad anyone was mean to her. Fuck he loves you. “Ah-ah you have fun! Here.” She leans forward now.

She’s running her hands down the sides of your breasts, before taking down your straps, revealing your breasts, and you watch them bounce out, as Gojo audibly groans. “I’m gonna die. I really am gonna die.” He grumbles, and you both laugh.

But he really feels like he can’t take it, his cock is straining in his boxers, he was already so hard just feeling your heat, and now he’s looking at your beautiful body, the girl above you is of course pretty but fuck you’re everything, your perfect tits at attention, begging for his mouth. You’re a cute little nervous mess, but clearly you’re enjoying, your eyes are lit up, you’re biting your lower lip.

The dancer licks one of your nipples, and you squeak, and Gojo would chuckle at how cute it was, but he wants to rail your perfect pussy right now. He’s clinging to his chair, shifting to try to adjust himself but it’s too hard, so hard it’s painful. She licks your other nipple and your eyes flutter shut, a little hum of pleasure from the back of your throat, your hands brushing her hair back softly.

“Fuck you’re so hot.” He whispers, earning your eyes opening, and looking at him, they’re so dilated they’re almost black, your lips glossy as you wet them.

“You are, such a pretty body.” She says to you, and you’re blushing even harder, as she slides back to her knees, her long thick platform heels clicking on the floor, and he watches her lick you over your panties. You let out what sounds like a squeak, and the stripper licks her lips and grins. “And yummy.”

“Oh my god.” Your head falls back, your hair cascading like a waterfall along the back of the chair, your hands over your face.

That’s it, he can’t stand it. Satoru can’t take it, seeing a girl fucking lick you, he’s about to cum in his pants like a teenager. “Holy shit.” He grumbles, and the stripper looks at him then, and gestures for him to come over to you, putting him on his knees with a satisfied look.

“I’ll let you two continue, yeah?” Satoru digs in his pants for a wad of hundreds, handing them to her. “Oh, you already paid-”

“Extra, you’re amazing.” He gruffly says, as he stares up at you, and the dancer brushes your cheek, giving it a kiss, watching you with a smile.

“It was my pleasure. You two have fun, love birds, twenty minutes left in here you know.” She saunters out, the door shutting with a click, and he watches your bare breasts heave up and down as you whine softly, and he yanks you by your hips, leaning up as you lean down. Your lips capture his, and he tastes your sweetness mixed with your drinks.

“Mmnh, Toru I think I like strip clubs?” You whisper, and he laughs, smiling so big his cheeks hurt, as he slides up under your skirt, pulling your soaked panties down your shaky thighs.

“I had a feeling you’d enjoy that. You’re so sexy, god.” He’s got your glistening pussy in his face, and you’re arching your back, hips bucking up as his breath hits your clit, as he parts your lips and his mouth salivates at how fucking gorgeous you are. He slides a thumb, feeling your dripping wetness, sticking to his fingers, making you cry out now louder.

“Need you, Toru, please.” You breathe out the words, and he licks his lips as he pulls your hips up, pressing your pussy in his face, inhaling you as he buries himself in your soppy entrance with his tongue, nose bumping your clit as you gush down his mouth. “Toru, fuck, fuck… fuck!”

“Mmm, shh, Miss Brat.” He whispers, watching your tiny clit twitch as he spreads you so wide, a thigh over his shoulder, your calf dangling across his back, his cock so hard he starts stroking himself for just some relief. “Want to cum on my face?”

“Please, please Toru.” You’re begging, little tears in those pretty eyes that glimmer under the red lights. You’re pulling at his hair so hard as you grind your pussy against him, and he’s close to cumming from it, from how hard you pull, from how good you taste, from watching your brows scrunch together in pleasure. “There, there, oh my god please .”

You’re dripping down his tongue, and he’s sipping you up, hands both now gripping the plush of your thighs, as he devours you, as you’re cumming all over him, and he moans as he drinks it up. You’re weak now, but he’s not done, he lifts the hood of your clit now, swirling the tip of his tongue on that clit, and now you’re trying to pull him off you.

You’re so cute, his wife.

His Wife.

You’re like a dream, as he drinks you in a club just like the first night you met, and he is dying to fuck into you, but he wants to make you cum over and over with his mouth, make you a mess, just like that night.

“Satoru, too much, fuck!” You’re trembling as you’re yanking at his silky white hair, but Satoru is unrelenting as he’s devouring you with that tongue, and now he’s sliding a finger in your entrance, looking up at you, face glistening with how much you’ve cum. You gasp as he hits your spot, as he works you until you feel so much pressure you can’t take it.

“Cum again for me, yeah? You’re so pretty when you do.” Satoru’s husky voice along with him licking your clit again, and looking at you with those blue eyes ruins you, and your orgasm hits again, shoving a hand against your mouth as you scream into it, blacking out in the red room as it’s so good. “Mmm, good girl.”

You’re listless from your back to back orgasms, nearly fainting when he relents, kissing your thighs and nipping them, you weakly reach down to kiss him. “Toru, too much… can’t move.”

“I got you baby girl.” He picks you up then, with ease in his arms, as he smiles down at your face. “You tapping out?”

“No, I wanna make you cum.” You whisper weakly, kissing him back, hands entwining behind his neck, brushing against his undercut. “Let me suck you.”

“Wanna suck me off, don’t you wanna fuck?” He presses you against the wall now, holding your thighs in his hands, and he’s kissing down your neck, as your breasts press against his hard chest.

“Both yes, please.”

“You’re a mess baby.”

“Your fault, fuck.” He’s moaning then, as he rubs his tip along your lips, between them, bumping you overstimulated clit and making your head slam into the wall as you cum again from that. “Too much, fuck, fuck…”

“She’s so sensitive hmm?”

“Put it in me, please.” You look up at him pleadingly, and Satoru groans, shoving his cock in to the hilt, and you both moan together as he fills you, as he’s resting his forehead against yours, hands now gripping your ass. “S’big, Toru, s’good.”

“You’re so tight, made for me, aren’t you baby?” You nod eagerly, as he begins slowly moving, and you’re both kissing messy, saliva dripping from your tongues, as he fills you so goddamn good. But it’s beyond the pleasure, it’s so much more, like he’s constantly filling that missing piece. “You’re perfect, perfect.”

“I love you so much, so much.” You’re both whispering your love, as he’s fucking you on a strip club wall, but it’s as if it couldn’t be more romantic, as you both devour each other, him bending low to kiss your breasts, sucking your nipples, rolling his hips. You’re clenching around him, thighs on his slender hips, rocking your own hips against him for more.

Satoru begins fucking harder now, and your tits are shaking with each thrust, his blue eyes drink you in, as one hand leaves your hip to cup your face, stroking the apple of your cheek. You’re crying softly, at how beautiful it is, how good it feels, while Satoru kisses your tears away, breathing softly into your lips.

“I love you, pretty girl.” He says, and you’re a mess, truly, clinging to him as you drink in his cries, as you feel yourself higher and higher. “So pretty, so so pretty. Aren’t you?”

“Th-thank you, you… so handsome I… cumming!”

“Cum then, baby, lemme feel you. Ah!” He’s tense when you convulse, dripping down the length of his cock, wetter and wetter as you pulse around him, and Satoru finds his release then with you, moaning his pleasure into your lips as he pumps you full, with short bursts of so much cum. “Oh my god, baby…”

“Toru… oh my god… yes, yes, push it in me.” You beg, earning his groan as he’s kissing your lips so possessively, and you both cling to each other.

“You took it all, you're such a good girl, aren’t you?” You nod between kisses, and finally he eases you down carefully, your head falls back as you look up at him, and he’s got you barred against the wall.

“That was insane. Fiancé.” You tease with a giggle, and he smirks so goddamn charming, tilting your chin up, brushing little kisses on your nose.

“You were so hot like that. I’ll have that in my brain, a stripper licking you, I almost had a coronary.”

You’re tucking your head against his chest, inhaling his cologne then. “It was so fun, my god I can’t believe we’re doing this can you?”

“I wanted to marry you when I first saw you, but that would have sounded crazy. But I knew then you were special, something about your energy.”

“Oh, Satoru, I knew something was special too.” You’re hugging him so tightly, Satoru is stroking your hair, as the song changes. You both laugh then, grinning at each other as you pull away, taking several breaths, and he’s helping you get back dressed quickly. “Is that…”

“It sure fucking is. C’mon brat, let’s dance.” You eagerly follow him out, where your friends are gathered together taking shots, they wave you over but Satoru has you in the center of the club now in his arms. He turns you to where your back is against his hard body, his hands on your hips.

“I’m not so good at dancing, could you show me?” You ask him teasingly, and he’s bending down, fingers pressing into your hips.

“I can show you, just loosen up. There, now move your hips.” You wriggle your hips to the silly eighties song you all had first danced too, you look behind and up at him, cupping his face as he kisses on your neck. “Look, you’re a natural.”

“I had a good teacher. Or, professor.” You’re both kissing then, as he picks you up, and your legs dangle off the floor, and Satoru is spinning you. You’re at a strip club but you might as well be at a ball, in some fancy mansion, dancing a waltz, the way he holds you, the way he makes you feel.

He eases you down now, hands on your waist as he hums the tune, now bopping his head and being goofy, your friends are all enamored watching you both, even the dancers have paused, in fact everyone is looking at you. As you both sing the song quite terribly, as he’s spinning you around in little pirouettes, dipping you over his arm like you’re in a tango.

You’re breathless and giddy as you now rock gently with him, brushing his hair back, seeing a beautiful future between you both just over the horizon. Seeing everything in his beautiful blue eyes, that swirl and dance and glitter brighter than anything there was, the way his grin is so bright it illuminates his pretty face. You see everything with him.

“I can’t wait, Toru.” You say with a grin marveling his own. He exhales, leaning down and holding you close, big body taking your little one over, making you feel so safe and so secure.

“I can’t wait, either, to make you my wife.”

Taglist: @jjknanamin @chiyokoemilia @marie-is-in-the-dark @seeing-stars-alt @maskedpacific @aldebrana @toffeebrat @antisocialinlw @trishiepo0 @jkslaugh97 @makingtimemine 

Chapter 14

[radawayghoul]

His Little Dove | Chapter 1

The Plan

Warnings: cursing, slight age difference, innuendos, height difference, ummm calling people names, angst, i think i switched from second to third POV at a certain point so..bad/subpar writing is a warning lol, 18+ only, MDNI

Pairing: Lee Russell x Reader (AFAB)

Word Count: 2,123

A/N: it's finnniisshheeddd!! ugh i actually am so insanely proud of this chapter!! thank you so much to everyone who has been waiting to read this!! i'm genuinely so honored and am starting chapter two as we speak!! the comments and stuff really motivate me so much 🥹

 Following behind Lee and Neal, Y/N listened in on their conversation, a bit confused as to why you’d been invited. 

“Oh, Jesus Christ, the bloodbath begins,” Lee said around a mouth full of smoke, “She’s got me off my rocker, Gamby. We gotta act quick,” Lee adjusted his hold on his cigarette, “Now, she’s tied up in teacher reviews for the next 72 minutes. That gives us some time.” 

Y/N arched a brow. “Time to do what, Lee?” You questioned him, “Who exactly are we sabotaging?” Y/N knew the name of Lee’s game by now. 

“Oh, great, Russell, why did you invite her?! She’s not even familiar with the parameters of our plan!” Neal exclaimed, yanking his toothpick out from between his teeth, pausing in the middle of the school parking lot. 

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Gamby!” Lee whined, “Treat Y/N with a little respect! Ohhh, Y/N, darlin’, I’m so sorry for this fat fuckin’ losers disrespect, please just ignore him, okay, pretty bird?” Lee gave you a sickeningly sweet smile before turning back to Neal with a disgruntled look, “Loosen the fuck up or I will do this shit on my own motherfucker. Now, let’s go dig up some dirt on that grimy bitch.” 

Neal scoffed but followed after Lee begrudgingly, Y/N speeding up her steps to keep up. 

You had no idea WHO you were sabotaging but you weren’t one to say no to Lee. You never said no to Lee Russell. And you absolutely never fucking would. 

-----------

The three of them rolled up on a house that Y/N knew all too well. Lee’s house. This did little to lessen your confusion but you trusted Lee. 

“Is this where she lives? What a shit-hole.” Neal chuckled. 

Y/N snorted as Lee ripped off his sunglasses. 

“This is my house, motherfucker! It’s a mid-century sea ranch!” Lee yelled, huffing a sigh before continuing, “Now, stay here, I gotta go get somethin’.” Lee got out of the car and strutted towards his front door. 

“You should go easier on him, Neal. Really.” Y/N said, crossing her arms, leaning back into her seat. 

“Oh shut up, Y/N! God! Stop being so pretentious.” Neal groaned, rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses. 

Y/N looked over as Lee was followed out of the house by his screaming mother-in-law, Mi Cha, looking stressed to the heavens. 

“Shut up! Shut up! All I hear is gibberish from you, shut up! Go back in the house!” Lee yelled before turning to walk towards the car, “Like nails on a fuckin’ chalkboard.” He groaned, stopping when he got to the car, closing his eyes in frustration as the woman kept screaming, “GO BACK IN THE HOUSE!!!” He yelled louder this time, pointing angrily at the open door. 

“FUCK YOU!” Mi Cha yelled, finally walking back inside. 

Lee grunted as he got back inside the car, a noise that made the butterflies in the pit of your stomach stir, shoving a bag into the back of the car into your lap. 

“Y/N, would you be a dear and hold this?” Lee smiled at Y/N, always being so sweet with her, even if he was out of breath. His smile dropped, however, the minute he turned towards Neal. “Go.” Lee demanded.

“Everything okay?” Neal questioned. 

“Just go.” Lee sighed, leaning heavily into the passenger seat. 

Y/N’s heart hurt for Lee. He was always under so much stress. Ever since his mother-in-law moved in, he had not been doing so well. He’d been a bit…wilder than usual. Always wanting to get into something scandalous or cause some sort of raucous to relieve his stress. Was it always the best solution? No. No it wasn’t. But, Y/N wasn’t going to deny Lee any sort of stress relief…even if it did mean they’d have to cover for him. 

-----------

Neal cleared his throat as the three of them continued their journey to wherever it was that they were going. 

“So, uh, was that woman your wife?” Neal asked, looking over at Lee nervously. 

Y/N couldn’t help but giggle slightly. 

Lee looked at him completely disgusted. “Don’t be asking me personal questions. We ain’t fuckin’ friends, okay? This is business.” Lee scoffed. 

“Leeee..” Y/N said quietly, leaning up slightly to rest their hand on Lee’s shoulder, “Breathe.” Y/N massaged his shoulder, trying to help him relax. 

Lee relaxed a little into Y/N’s touch, taking a deep breath. Y/N was really the only one to have this sort of effect on Lee. She could calm him in almost any and all situations unless he was really, really stressed. 

“Friends?” Neal laughed, “I am not trying to be your friend.” 

“Over here tryin’ to make a fuckin’ friend and we about to do a mission.” Lee scoffed, leaning back into Y/N’s touch even further. 

Neal looked between the two of them with a raised brow, “You’re the one trying to make friends the most.” Neal challenged. 

Lee sighed, slipping his sunglasses back onto his nose. “Just shut up, Gamby, god!” 

Y/N shook her head at the two of them, pulling her hand off of Lee to sit back once more. 

-----------

The group of them rolled to a stop in a very well-off looking neighborhood. 

“Who are we here for, Lee?” Y/N questioned, peering out the window of the car. 

“Dr. Brown’s deep, dark secrets.” Lee smiled mischievously, chewing on his bottom lip. 

“Belinda?! Lee…honey, I need you to bring yourself back to earth for a moment. You know I support you in all that you do but this is a suicide mission, sweetheart.” Y/N told him sweetly, sighing a little. She knew this man was up to something scandalous. 

“Don’t start, Y/N. God, you both just really wanna piss on my parade, don’t you? Maybe you two should be fuckin’ butt buddies and I’ll do the work that fuckin’ matters.” Lee grumbled, getting out of the car. 

Y/N sighed, following after him while Neal awkwardly stayed in the car. 

“Lee, sweetheart, you know it’s not like that at all!” Y/N said, walking over to place a hand on his back, “Don’t get all grumpy with me like that, it hurts my feelings, doll.” Y/N frowned up at him. 

Lee scanned Y/N’s face with his famous sad puppy dog eyes before letting out a frustrated sigh. “Alright fine, fuck!” He exclaimed, looking down at his feet, “I’m sorry, okay? There I said it. Now, come help me take this dirty bitch to hell?” Lee looked at Y/N with a cute smile, batting his lashes at her. 

Y/N closed her eyes. “I’m gonna regret this..but fine. I’d do anything for you.” Y/N muttered, shaking her head. 

“Are you two weirdos finished? We’re running out of fucking time!” Neal grumbled as he stomped over to them. 

Lee rolled his eyes, grabbing Y/N’s hand to drag her towards Dr. Brown’s house. “Shut up, Gamby!” 

The three of them shortly arrived at Belinda’s house where Neal and Lee began digging their way through the woman’s garbage. 

“Ugh,” Y/N gave them a disgusted look, “Lee, I love you, but that is fucking repulsive.” 

“Oh, please, just pretend I’m digging in your ass, that’ll make the picture a whole lot prettier.” Lee winked at Y/N with a smirk.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat, heat rapidly rising to her cheeks. “Lee fucking Russell, do not say that shit to me,” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, feeling sheepish. 

“Don’t pretend like you don’t love it when I talk dirty to you, darlin’.” Lee’s smile grew as he took in her red appearance. 

“So..uh..I’m confused, are you two like..dating..or..?” Neal questioned, watching the pair with an expressionless face. 

“NO!” Y/N said much too quickly before steadying herself, “No, we’re just friends. Lee just doesn’t know how to shut the fuck up.” She grumbled. 

Lee placed an offended hand on his chest. “That no was a little too quick for my liking. What? Am I not good enough for you little miss honors English teacher? Huh? Not good enough for the little straight A, fuckin’ teacher of the goddamn year?!” Lee scoffed, his brows narrowed slightly. He looked genuinely hurt by her rushed response. 

“You’re fucking married, Lee!” Y/N yelled at him, eyes wide, “Why the fuck would I ever agree to someone asking if we’re dating, idiot?!” 

“Oh, don’t you start callin’ me fuckin’ names now, missy!” Lee pointed an accusing finger at her, scrunching his face up the way he does when he’s upset about something. 

“Right. Okay um, it seems like you two have a lot to work out and I really don’t care to hear the rest of this conversation because you’re both fucking stupid and I don’t care about either of you.” Neal ranted awkwardly before walking towards Belinda’s steps.

Y/N and Lee rolled their eyes at each other, following after Neal. 

“Oh..there’s no fucking way we’re breaking in here!” Y/N scolded, giving Lee a disapproving look. 

Lee shrugged, shooing Neal towards the door. 

Neal popped off his tie, wrapped it around his hand, and busted open one of the windows on the back door before sticking his hand through to pop the lock. 

“Jesus Christ,” Y/N muttered, shaking her head. She pinched the bridge of her nose with a sigh, “what are y’all getting me into?” 

“Oh shush.” Lee scolded, waltzing into Belinda’s house behind Neal. 

Y/N followed close behind. “Lee, we should not be doing this. You’re smarter than this.” 

Lee stopped and turned around to give her a cold gaze. “Am I, Y/N? Hm?” He challenged, walking towards her dangerously slow, “You don’t really know me all that well, do you?” He smirked, standing so close to her she could feel his breath fanning her face. 

Y/N gulped, trembling slightly as she peered up at him. “Stop it,” She said quietly, looking away from him, “You always fucking tease me and it’s not fucking fair, Lee, jesus.” She snapped, immediately turning and walking back out the door. 

Lee chased after her, grabbing her by her elbow. “Hey now. What's the matter with you?! Where the fuck are you going?” 

“Back to my fucking job, Lee. I am not doing this. Belinda hasn’t done shit to me. Look…I love you, Lee, I really do. You’re my best friend but this job is my fucking life. But you wouldn’t get that, would you? Because you’ve got fucking everything. You’re married, you’ve got a beautiful home, a nice car.” Y/N took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. She was overwhelmed with her feelings. His teasing usually never bothered her but today...today was different for some reason. She just couldn't go through with this any longer. “I understand why you’re doing this..and I want to help you, Lee, believe me, I do. But I can’t lose this job.” Y/N finally looked up at him, almost taken aback by the sincere look on his face. 

“Go,” He said, softly, “I’ll meet you back at the school..okay? For lunch. Like always.” Lee held out his pinky. It was their tradition to link pinkies when making plans as a promise to not let each other down. 

Y/N nodded, curling her smaller pinky around his larger one. “Like always.” She pulled her hand away, starting her journey back to the school on foot. It wasn’t far, she wouldn’t have any trouble getting there but leaving Lee behind like that when he had been counting on her to help him really broke her heart. But she couldn’t lose this job. It was all she had that kept her connected to Lee and she’d be the first to go if anyone found out about this scheme. She couldn’t risk it - couldn’t risk her livelihood and her job. Lee was everything to her. Everything. Lee was and always will be her livelihood. 

-----------

Back at Belinda’s, Lee walked back into the house with a determined look on his face, now upset that his one and only friend bailed on him. 

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?” Neal said while scanning the wall of Belinda’s photos.

“What the fuck did you just say to me, Gamby?” Lee said pissily, narrowing his brows at him. 

“That girl loves you..and you’re just blind to it..I’m not good with women but you shouldn’t use her the way you do.” Neal shrugged. 

“Shut the fuck up, you ass face, you have no fucking idea what you’re even talkin’ about.” Lee scoffed, stomping off up the stairs of Belinda’s house. 

That couldn’t be right, could it? Could you really love him in that way? 

‘No,’ Lee thought, shaking his head, ‘There’s no way…right?’ 

Right? 

--

tag list: @one-of-thewalkingdead @itsyellow @ajeff855 @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @casiaregina @dried-mushroom @justme12200 @wtfwhyanyway @sequoiassoul @saturnbourne @ryankaylamartin96 @avidreadee123 @theweirdoneee @saltysultry @radskull-69 @deviantgamergirl @caligrl1992 @littlenosoul @sir-henry-may @spatialwave @danveration

[easybrainrot34]

🖼️Lil Benedict Bridgerton Headcanons🖼️

These r random as perusal lol. I am truly a ✨slut✨ for this man. So here r some random Modern!AU takes that I can see happening. Hope yall enjoy. All r fluff and crack.. Also if anyone wants it I could do ✨spicy version✨let me know! Part 2 is here! Also also sorry this took me so long, i had such bad writers block lol. E N J O Y!!

Ps, my ask and request r open :)

🎨 I feel like Ben is a very "anti-toxic masculinity" kinda man. He has and will call out his brothers if he sees some shady suss shit. He had MANY talks with Anthony about not having to always be all macho macho man. I genuinely think Ben is the only one (besides Kate of course) that can get Anthony about his feelings. I also feel like he takes great care in making sure Colin and Gregory don't grow up thinking feelings = weakness.

🎨 His favorite flowers are poppies, peonies, and carnations to paint. Like he loves the little details in these flowers. When you found this out, you surprised him with a big beautiful bouquet of peonies and poppies, and he nearly cried. A week later he hung up an original painting over your bed. (omg this is so cute)

🎨 As we know our sweet Ben is a man of culture, so I feel like this man has seasonal tickets to some form of the arts. Whether it be the ballet, opera, plays, or musicals, this man loves it all. He also has a ticket plug (litterly like a w33d dealer)

🎨 We all know he can handle his liquor, but i feel like modern! Ben would be a liiiitttllle bit of a st0ner if not complete supporter of all legalization of it. I mean come on the man got h!gh in the show and painted a beautiful painting so I feel like he definitely uses it when he has art block.

🎨 He only has Facebook, Instagram, and a Vsco. Vsco and Insta purely for work. I feel like this is something Ben and Luke (Ben’s actor) have in common. I feel like he would appreciate having little to no social media presence. He has the “if i want you to know whats going on I’ll just tell you” mentality. Not in a pretentious way though, he isn’t a complete hater (although he doesn’t get influencers at all) he just likes his privacy.

🎨 He definitely leans more to the minimal style when it comes to his home decore. He loves color and nicknacks, but it’s more of just things that are more sentimental and not just cute.

🎨 Millennial coded humor. That’s it. It’s almost a little unsettling.

🎨 He is very well read. Not on the level of Eloise, but he definitely can hold himself in a debate. He definitely has a home library with the classics.

🎨 He loves a sappy romance movies / romcoms. Oh my god it’s his guilty pleasure. I’m talking cried at the end of the Notebook, wants to recreate at some point the parachute scene from Pearl Harbor (iykyk), lost his breath when rose enters the ball room at the end in Titanic, etc etc etc. 

🎨 He has fucking chapsticks everywhere. In every drawer, three of his messenger bag at all times, to a nightstand, every little nook and cranny basically. Has a deep hatred for cracked lips, and something tells me his lips can crack easily. 

[oneforthemunny]

Hey! Just wanted to ask (sorry if you’ve answered this before), do nepo baby or rockstar!eddie ever let it slip that they actually hated each other before, lol?

Because if they did, I feel like it’ll be through Vega and her obsessive use of TikTok, lmao! She’d just be, like, “oh, yeah, my parents totally hated each other before they got together. I could have not been brought into this world guys!” And everyone is shocked, because the public has only ever known of them after their engagement.

they definitely tell it lol.

in their little docuseries they do when the kids are older and he’s retired, is really when they go into detail. before it was kinda like “uh she wasn’t very impressed by me but gareth and farrah were dating so it kinda happened” is the story they went with (that had MAJOR holes in it lol).

but when they get the chance to really talk about it on screen i, in my mentally ill mind, picture it being like this:

let me set the scene. eddie and nb, older, on screen. he in his home ‘office’ recording studio, her in the living room of their house with a gallery wall of photos of their family behind her.

interviewer, off screen: so, everyone wants to know- how did you two meet?

eddie: well, we met at a bar.

cuts to nb’s scene.

nb: we met at a bar. farrah and i went out and he and his band mates all walked in. they came up to us at the bar-

cuts back to eddie.

eddie: i saw her, and i was like holy shit, ya know? i thought she was the prettiest fucking person I’d ever seen. so i went up to her and tried to buy her a drink, and she told me to pretty much fuck off.

laughing off camera. eddie’s blushing, shrugging. cuts back to nb.

interviewer: we heard you were… less than impressed with eddie when you met him?

nb: oh, i couldn’t stand him. i thought he was so egotistical, just arrogant and audacious.

cuts back to eddie.

eddie: she did not like me at all. and honestly, after our first conversation, i didn’t like her either. thought she was full of herself, pretentious… still very hot, but not nice.

they’d both go into detail about how much they hated each other, could barely stand to be around each other, the publicity stunts that appeared so obvious now that the world had no idea about (nb and his rival, eddie and her ‘friends’). they don’t graphically describe the hooking up, but it’s alluded to.

i really think it would just shock the world how much they hated each other and then are so in love. definitely think it would revive the younger generation who would find it so funny.

i think vega, the menace, would find out from the internet that there is a song written about nb by the rival guys band sorta directed at eddie. once she finds that information out, there’s no knowing peace.

[buckyarchives]

MODERN OBI-WAN KENOBI BOYF HC

I haven’t ever done a head cannon post but with how busy / lazy I’ve been I might post more of these, they’re a lot of fun. probably one for Bucky and Luke skywalker. If you want any other characters just lmk! Make sure to check my request post!

warning: nsfw content (labeled so if you want to skip you totally can)

tea guy, like, it’s crazy. has so many drawers full of boxes and bags. always making you tea to fit whatever mood you’re in

landscaper or teacher, or both. I imagine him teaching younger kids but probably wishes to be a professor of some sort, maybe teaching environmental science.

just really likes plants and flowers but sometimes gets tired of having to craft and trim everything to be perfect so he thoroughly enjoys natural nature and the “overgrown’ aesthetic

Adding onto that, loves to hike, always takes you with and nerds out about the scenery and views.

definitely fosters dogs from the local shelter and takes them on hikes to help leash train them.

unintentionally a pretentious little prick

circle lens glasses and turtle neck combo 24/7

And of course you steal his sweaters ALL THE TIME

Smells like citrus, grass and rain. the warm sun rays and vanilla

Always watching some documentary, or the history channel.

All your friends lowkey want him because he’s. That Guy.

Whenever he blushes it goes straight to his nose, ears and neck.

Frequent at most coffee shops in town so when he started to bring you around it was a big deal for the workers lol, so much gossip. And mild disappointment from the staff knowing obi wan was official taken

Probably hates small talk, finds it tedious and shallow

The most supportive boyfriend in the world, he’s always the first person there to cheer you on

When you started dating him, his cousin/best friend, Anakin, came as a packaged deal. The younger one frequently trailing behind obi wan and now, as you’ve got too closer, you as he’s become a younger brother figure to you.

Not jealous at all, he’s very secure in your relationship and his trust in you is crazy strong. finds it quite amusing when men hit on you in front of him and kinda just lets you play it out.

That is unless you become uncomfortable, he mostly lets you stand up for yourself but if it becomes overbearing he definitely won’t hesitate to cause a small scene.

A big runner and boxer, you’re used to having to help his knuckles heal up from long sessions. As well as joining him on early morning runs if he can get you up and out of bed for it.

He loves art and mostly drew and painted landscapes but after meeting you this sketch book began to fill of pictures of you from every angle possible.

So naturally put together all the time it makes you insecure sometimes

Obviously, obi wan is the best at easing those insecurities. He always notices when you’re feeling off, sometimes even before yourself, so quick to embrace you and whisper exactly what you need to hear.

Another thing, so good with his words??? He always tell you what you need to hear, there’s rarely ever any miscommunication between the two of you because of this and even when they’re are, arguments are not common.

Crazy sarcastic, will say the funniest shit ever with the most monotone face and it just makes it 100% times funnier.

Really likes Taylor swift and David Bowie

Always getting you bouquets of flowers, even arranges them himself sometimes.

“This reminded me of you.”

Such a safe and non-judgemental aura, you’d struggle with asking for help or learning new / seemingly ‘common sense’ things with past relationships in fear of seeming dumb but you feel so safe around obi-wan that those thoughts never cross your mind, always learning new things from him and enjoying how helpful and supportive he is.

Definitely an impala driver, either 40s Chevy impala or the very sleek and fancy 2020 impala premier, probably black and rarely dirty

Not the biggest cuddler in the world but really enjoys naps together, will drape an arm over you but he tends to move around in his sleep so he’s just content with sleeping besides you rather than wrapping limbs

But when he is in the mood to cuddle, it’s mostly on the couch when you decides to binge shitty reality television. He’s usually on his back and you’re laying ontop of his stomach with your ear to his chest

You two constantly binge dating reality shows, always criticizing the other couple and mostly men LOL.

“He did not just say that! Maker, you would have broke up with me then and there.” “Damn right I would.”

You trace all the moles and freckles along his body, obi wan definitely had a skin care routine and moisturizes so I imagine his skin is always so soft

NSFW!

really likes nudes, like the grainy MacBook camera pictures with a matching cute set type nudes (iykyk). Hot and slightly artistic, his favorite.

Doesn’t like porn though, never enjoyed it and it never really got him off, doesn’t like the morals of it either

Also sexting, not his thing. He’s usually more on the serious end when it comes to intimacy but he cannot take sexting seriously LMAOO

lowkey the type to come home from a long day of work and look you in the eye with That Look and you just know what he needs

Thigh guy, the type to take breaks from eating you out by just resting his head fully on your inner thigh and just gaze up at you

Sir / master kink

Will jokingly come up behind you when you’re in the kitchen or something and press his groin to your behind

Just a little tease overall, always doing shit like that and acting all innocent about it

VERY VERY vocal during sex (cough, cough, shallow graves ending scene, COUGH)

[mythica0]

Fop: a new wish Tword headcanons!

Because, once again, hyperfixation lol. In this is Dev, Hazel, Cosmo +Wanda, and Peri, in that order. (long post)

Dev (I love this silly lil guy)

-he is def a lee, although he likes twording ppl as well.

-he didn’t know until after he got really introduced to it(he always knew what it was and kinda what it felt like, but never really experienced it that much.) but he really likes being tworded. [don’t worry man, same 🙏]

-his death spot (and coincidentally, his favorite spot to be tworded) is his tummy!

-his laugh is the happiest sounding giggle you’ve ever heard. This laugh is so bouncy and bubbly and sweet. It’s the kind of laugh that you just know whoever’s producing it is having the time of their life.

-Whenever he’s tworded he stims, usually with flappi by his hands or little kicks. However, he never seems to try and get away.

-very easily flustered, both by the fact that he’s ticklish and that he likes it. however he can say the tword with ease(unlike me)

-would try to hold off his laugh but fail miserably

-he is weak to raspberries and tword games, but as much as he likes to deny it he loves them.

-after being introduced to twords, he gets lee moods, and the first one he ever got he did not understand. ‘Why do I feel all buzzy? Why do I want to be tickled?!’ Peri was happy to explain and assist (probs gonna write a fic of this one)

-Now, when it comes to being the ler, Dev is an absolute little shit.

-he likes to tword others, both because it’s fun for him and because he likes seeing others laugh. (He will tell you it’s just the first one. That it’s fun for him to make other ppl powerless)

-He’s pretty new to the whole thing, so he’s not super good at it yet, but he’s trying, and getting better!

Hazel

-She is a ler leaning switch!

-she loves to start tword fights and absolutely loves it as a bonding experience.

-Her laugh is very wheezy, but don’t worry she’s fine.

-her worst spot is her ribs

-She doesn’t actually squirm all too much, kinda just goes limp.

-she is immune to visual teases after the twords start, because as soon as she starts getting tworded she shuts her eyes.

-Hazel loves to use twords as a way to cheer up her friends. (Although she tends to leave Jazz out of it since she’s afraid of being tworded)

-she is not shy about her love of twords at all. She’s very open about it.

-I didn’t come up with this one,(that award goes to my mootie @randommusicalfluff) but after finding out Dev is twordish, she absolutely gets him any time he’s being pretentious or pushing people away.

-she uses baby talk. And lots of it. A fave of hers is definitely to just repeat the tword over and over again in a teasy voice.

Cosmo + Wanda

-putting them together cause they’re basically a package deal.

-both of them are even switches.

-they love to team up, but also love to get into tword fights with eachother.

-sometimes after a tword fight they’ll have a cuddle sesh and watch a movie

-Cosmo’s worst spot is his wings, and his laugh is very funny, and kinda high pitched.

-Wanda’s worst spot is her armpits, and her laugh is kinda rough but very sweet sounding.

-they will use their magic to their advantage in a tword fight, or when lering as a whole.

Peri (my fav boi!!)

-he’s a ler but he likes being tworded too.

-his worst spot his also his tummy (him and his godkid have something in common that way.)

-when he’s tworded he squirms but mostly just curls into a ball. Most of his movements are in his wings, which usually flutter around rapidly.

-his laugh is very smooth, but also very frantic sounding. And it can get very loud.

-Now, as you’ve probably gathered, Peri loves to tword Dev. Especially to cheer him up. He just loves to see his godkid happy.

-he has a ridiculously good sense of when someone is in a lee mood. He just knows

-he loves to make a game out of it, and is overall a very silly ler

-the more he can make someone laugh the better he feels.

-hasn’t thought about using his magic before, until he sees his parents do it.

And that’s all I have today! Hope you enjoyed reading these and expect more fics of these guys in the near future!!

[jungle-angel]

Spectacularly Spooky Stories (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: It's an absolutely shitty day while you and Bob are on vacation from work, but that doesn't mean there's no room for spooky stories to be told

Tagging: @bobfloydsbabe Helena my love, I can't appreciate enough whenever you answer an ask I've sent in, consider this my little gift to you my friend (lol).

"Prepare yourselves, or be overwhelmed. The horseman descends upon this realm! The skies grow dark. The flames burn bright! None shall escape the horseman's sight!" you read from the battered old book with the weakening spine and yellowing pages.

"Harken, cur! 'Tis you I spurn! Listen well, and feel the burn!" Bob quoted with a mouthful of cider donut.

You laughed a little, the chills running down your back as a low rumble of thunder rolled across the sky above your street and the old Victorian where you and Bob had taken to living now that he was teaching at your school.

"You enjoying that donut?" you chuckled.

"Always baby," Bob answered before he was finally able to swallow. "Love this time of year."

"Spooky stories, cider donuts and a whole two weeks at home with you," you told him. "Though I think your copy of Sleepy Hollow has seen better days."

"That's nothing," Bob insisted. "You should've seen a copy of the Scottish Play that Kelsey and Kayleigh Perrault were carrying around the other day. That thing was beat to shit."

"You should've told me Bob, I would've given them mine," you told him.

"Hey, the bookshelf in your classroom is thin enough as is," Bob informed you. "If history's taught us anything, it's never deplete your resources. Now the librarian on the other hand......"

"Is a pretentious, annoying bitch who's on her way to getting fired?" you chuckled.

Bob had opened his mouth to say something, but you had quickly taken the words right out of his mouth. "Good point," was all he was able to get out.

"I know," you told him. "I saw her griping at Mona's fourth graders when they were going down the stairs to the library and heard all about it when we were in the break room for lunch."

Bob rolled his eyes. If anything that rang true throughout the school, it was never, in the history of ever, mess with Mona Reyes, one of the grades teachers in the lower half of the school. She was a tiny little thing who ran her class with military precision and hated nitpicky people more than anything, especially the beaked nose librarian who thought it her job to nitpick everyone and everything in the school, more so when Bob brought his students down for research projects.

He leaned in and kissed you, the taste of the apple cider donut still on his lips and sweeter than ever as he drew a quiet little moan from your throat. "What do you say I make the both of us a hazelnut coffee?" he murmured. "I think it's that kind of a day."

You kissed him right back. "I would love that very much sweetheart," you said to your husband.

Bob scurried away to the kitchen and put two of the k-cups into the coffee maker, taking care to add extra milk into the mugs. He lit a fire in the fireplace and crawled under the thick, fuzzy throw blanket with you, the two of you reading over Sleepy Hollow in the hopes that you could get some new ideas for your main lesson when you got back from vacation. The rain continued to batter the windows, the skies outside dark as ever but you and Bob staying cozy in your own private library and away from the rest of your troubles.

[galaxostars]

Thank you @amethystheart2421 for the tag!!

• I didn’t have a wattpad phase bc when I was twelve I was a pretentious little shit who used to look down on it and feel superior for not reading it (I was in fact, not superior lmao)

• also fanfic in itself is self indulgent so that was an obvious cross

• oooh writing when drunk that one is actually my solution to get over my writers block lol very efficient

• also, do people have ideas during the day?? I thought it was a universal experience to get hit by inspiration in the middle of the night 🤡

• the “need coffee” doesn’t count cause I need for everything anyway

Np tags : @quiethauntings @emlovessid @thistlecatfics @arviyya @courfee @iaskedforthefuture @goldenbi @onehundredflamingos @the-invisibility-bloke @bluedahlia912

[jammerskrik]

tell us abt a treasured childhood memory

my immediate and extended fam had a longstanding inside joke that began during Christmastime in 2001 (—right after 9/11) that was just an impression of my nerdy grandfather conjuring pin-drop silence from loudly reciting the shahada in a busy upscale restaurant in NH lmao. something reminded me of that recently and it made me smile. the other enduring joke from that particular trip was from when I had asked my father what my grandfather was like in the 1960s and he replied, ‘what do you think lol, Grandad stood in his beautiful garden with a snifter of scotch and a gauloise and would occasionally say things like, “Geoffrey, are you and Billy smoking hashish in the shrubbery again?”’ —and he nailed my grandfather’s affected pretentious transatlantic/Frasier Crane-ass accent so totally that ‘hashish in the shrubbery’ became like a circumlocution-based meme/expression used in place of calling basic mischief mischief.

my last year of Catholic school/the year prior the headmaster nun called me down to the office and when I arrived all the nuns were there in a line to gravely inform me that they had just finished all the math for our little academic awards show they’d always held up in the church. I had always been neck and neck competing with one particular Irish lad and the nuns were dismayed bc I had beaten out Shane that year by one or two tenths of a GPA point, and the nuns were wondering if I would be okay with getting the highest verbal iq ribbon they had given me a few times, as the final results had always been the reverse, with Shane edging me out by a hair. I don’t even remember the silly name we had for the overall academic dominance ribbon lol, but they asked if I would be okay with them giving it to Shane instead, because we all knew Shane was emotionally unstable about valuing school, like if he ever got an A- they’d find him out in the yard banging his skull against a retaining wall chanting “stupid” at himself kind of shit; the nuns legitimately feared if they gave me valedictorian Shane would leap off the school building to kill himself, but then it also troubled them bc it would be dishonest to publicly rank me silver if I objectively got gold. I was ten in 2000, but I understood the concern and said ofc they could give it to Shane, he was definitely expecting it, and thanked them for letting me know the truth privately. They were so relieved and weirdly proud of me for being willing to graciously keep that secret. I had completely forgotten about this until my mother and brother both brought it up last autumn on a walk, but they both recalled it in this very bitter negative sort of way, like I was some kind of poorly treated unsung genius kid who was unfairly given short shrift, but I was like, you guys… that was like a character development moment for me, that’s a positive memory lmao

[mysticmellowlove]

I really need to know Bowen's past with Reader. When and where he met us, and what he thought when he saw us. Bowen is clearly a complex character, and if he became obsessed with us, it was for something remarkable; that b!tch seems too pretentious. 

note; he's a prick frfr... but how did he end up the way he is?

warnings; bowen, asshole bowen, gn reader, yandere shit, violence lol,

A clipped groan left his mouth as he looked over the table at his friends. They were being loud again, drinks sloshing around as they crowded over a phone playing a clip from one of the parties he had been to. He had wanted to go somewhere more upscale but his friends had insisted on going here.

At least it was good for one thing, the people of the upper class wouldn't see him hanging around these degenerates. Sometimes he hated his friends but they were fun and just as crazy as he was. Teen years were the time to be experimenting with one's true self after all.

Just as he was about to get up and order another soft drink the doorbell to the diner rang and more people filed in. This time it was a large family, dressed in modest clothes and toting around too many kids for his liking. He would've moved on immediately but someone... someone caught his eye.

With their head tucked into their phone, a disappointed look on their face was the most gorgeous person he had ever seen in his entire life. If he were to liken anyone to a piece of art it would be this person. Symmetrical face, pouting lips, tamed hair... even the acne marks on their face didn't bother him like it usually would.

It was... infuriatingly beautiful. As if they shouldn't even be a person but a statue in some museum or something.

His expression soured. Why was he so offended by their existence? Why did he want to go over there and introduce himself? Why did he want to smash their face in and turn them into a bloody mass on the side of the road? His chest seemed to heave with the weight of his breathing, heart beating faster and faster until he eventually got up and beelined for the bathroom.

As he stood in front of the mirror he looked at himself, his own face... not nearly as perfect as theirs.

"What the fuck?" He muttered to himself as he turned on the tap and ran his hands under the cold water. After splashing it on his face he scowled.

"Hey man, you good?" His friend, some prick called Andy or something, peeked his head past the door and looked at him before he bubbled into laughs.

"You look like some sort of tomato dude? You sick?" Andy laughed as he looked back at his reflection. From his ears to halfway down his neck his skin was splotchy and red.

"Nah..." He murmured as he pulled back from the sink and wiped his hands on his jeans.

"Hey, I'm going to hang around for a little while longer, you guys go on ahead." He said, still looking at his face. Andy's eyebrow perked up but he didn't say anything in response, probably too excited to get over to the cheerleaders' house for their welcome back-to-school party.

With that he was left alone with his thoughts... and his face. His imperfect face. He had to do something about them, if they had gotten this much of a rise out of him something had to be done. This was the first time in ages he had ever been shaken up over something not going his way. Over something not being as perfect as his life was expected to be.

He had to figure out who they were and when he did... he had to kill them. Then everything would go back to normal, everything would be just fine.

[steelthroat]

I was painting and the religious-fanatic teacher came to me and started asking questions about my work. I answered them and I was ready to go on with my day and she goes "we used to talk more when you were well..."

And I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at her like "wtf" because lady you are under 2 wrong assumptions here:

I would let YOU of all people be aware of my mental state or personal life or anything that concerns ME at all.

That we had some kind of amicable relationship to begin with? No, I don't know how you got the wrong impression since I just ever talked to you after I disagreed with your views, criticized you and almost fought with you because you said something both incredibly stupid and triggering... just because I've kept things civil doesn't mean I don't consider you anything other than a pretentious asshole.

The audacity of this woman, to think she can come to me and act all motherly and attentive while trying to get her nose in my personal life while bringing up a past bond which never fricking existed????? What like do you miss our disagreements???

And I just told her, "But... I'm good tho" which is not 100% true, but that's none of her business anyway

And she goes "yeah but you were even better"

BITCH????? No I wasn't? I'm not doing super now but I've vastly improved since last year so idk are you tripping or something???? And then she says something else about my work and keeps talking to me and I'm being civil and cordial because I'm not a rude asshole even if he doesn't even deserve this courtesy for the way she treats us.

Idk what's wrong with her, like she thinks I'm some kind of "problematic kidTM" for the way I look who needs salvation?? Which is not true, I don't need you as a mother. I already have a loving family and friends. Thank you and get the hell away from me????

And even if I were looking for someone's help for anything, I would NEVER in a hundred thousand years go to her for it. Not even for a broken nail lol.

She would probably tell me to go to church and confess or some shit. She already told me to call a confessor for my grandma because she had a little accident when she heard me talking about it with someone else... fkn hell.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Need your Saltburn review though 👀

I will preface by saying that I personally find Emerald to be a filmmaker/writer that is rather boring at best and kind of... horrifically misled in that she thinks that shocking "darkness" = depth at worst. I think A Promising Young Woman had some fun visuals at points (and so does Saltburn--though I think this has less to do with Emerald having an eye and more for Emerald understanding aesthetic, which makes sense when you realize that her dad is an Eton-educated jeweler to the stars, King of Bling, I wonder if that possibly could ever have anything to do with a UK performer's rise, hmmmmm--) but the way it ended was just... Lol. Yes, Emerald! I know that this is how the story would probs end in real life, the women of the world NEEDED TO KNOW.

(Princess Weekes did a good little video essay about PYW btw, would recommend.)

But yeah, point is--I don't think Saltburn is a misstep for Emerald. I think she's just very mediocre and self-indulgent. You can be self-indulgent and get away with it when you have a vision and something to say (see: Baz). I don't think Emerald has something to say. I think Emerald has concepts, which she pushes to a point she thinks is edgy, but doesn't actually... string into a coherent idea.

First off, Saltburn is nothing new; and it doesn't need to be. I like the pretentious rich people problems aesthetic. I love the bacchanal of the upper crust sensibility. Hell, I loved Donna Tartt's The Secret History. Sierra Simone's Thornchapel series is one of my favorite things she's done. I love Cruel Intentions. I also love The Talented Mr. Ripley, which--

My good man. If you wish to watch what you think Saltburn was going to be, but with better actors (including Jude Law in what is essentially the Jacob Elordi role, which, uh, how we have fallen as a society) and honestly better homoeroticism in a movie made like 20 years ago... just watch The Talented Mr. Ripley.

But yeah. So, I think everything Emerald does is meant to shock but doesn't go quite far enough. It's little moments that happen, and aren't really contextualized in a way that feels like it's there to be anything more than shock value, which makes it less shocking. Like, the period fingerbang--if those characters had a dynamic which led up to that moment, if I felt the actual power play there, it might actually shock me. Or be sexy? For the record, Fair Play has a period sex scene within its first five minutes that is both more surprising and better in every way. The shit with Farleigh? Would be compelling. That was the one bit of chemistry in the movie, the moment when Oliver and Farleigh talked to each other right before the whole singalong disaster. But then it's happening and I'm like "why is Barry Keoghan fucking everyone in this movie except for Jacob Elordi? What is the point?"

And what is the point indeed. Jacob Elordi has the charisma of a medium-sized tree, and I suspect a medium-sized tree would do a better job of ditching the Aussie accent. Emerald's inadequacies could be overcome and made into a thing that is campy, maybe? Not good, but fun? Barry Keoghan does his best with the material. He's fun in the last like ten minutes of the movie wherein he's basically monologuing like a demented real housewife and dancing around naked. He tries so hard to create chemistry with Jacob, while Jacob's vibe is very "no homo". (But the character is supposed to be no homo, you say--is he, first off, because I honestly don't know what Emerald is saying, and second... Like.... The character can be not attracted to Barry's character will still giving us an essence of intrigue that would inform why Barry is spellbound.)

But the biggest issue is that the movie hinges on Jacob Elordi being worthy of obsession, and he is just a flop in this role. He doesn't sell himself as this posh, beautiful, Brideshead Revisited-But-A-Bro guy. He can't really act (there's a scene where the movie cuts to him giving a smile that I think is supposed to be charming and I went "yikes" out loud). He is up against people who are actually actors, which makes it a bit worse. Everything feels very forced and constructed, for want of a better term. If you do not get WHY this guy, then the movie flops. And try as I might, I cannot get WHY this guy.

(Might I add--the bathtub scene would've been more intriguing had we seen Jacob interact with the voyeurism, some sense that he knew, whether or not he enjoyed it. The queerness in this movie is so... It's just this queer guy being obsessed and rebuffed and murderous, and I don't know, there didn't seem to be enough exploring the ramifications of that kind of story.)

The Talented Mr. Ripley also hinges on the focal point of obsession being worthy of obsession. And again. It's Jude Law. And it's Jude Law giving a really good performance, too.

The movie also does some shit I really don't think it's equipped to do. Like, the premise is essentially the working class interloper (but like, he's not as working class as he saaaays so oooooohhhhh) is preying on this family of rich folks who offered him a place to land. And it's not inherently bad, imo, to tell that story. However, you need the rich people to have some role beyond being prey; you need to understand the predator's contempt beyond jealousy. But the rich people are cardboard. They aren't sharp. They may have a few throwaway lines that illustrate their own sins (including some very clumsily handled racism) but ultimately the movie gives Oliver more power than it does the elite upon whom he preys. So ultimately, you come away from it feeling like you're watching the anxieties of the upper class, re: the encroaching middle and working class... But there's no examination, because the rich people are just victims lol. I think it's genuine anxiety.

Yeah though, I thought it was really hokey basically.

[priestfrommidnightmass]

(gayroman, sorry lol using my main) this is important to Me. what do you think peter maldonado and sam ecklund's letterboxd top fours are

oh my fucking GOD. i have been waiting for this moment my whole life. EVERYONE BE QUIET. apologies in advance if i get a little lost along the way i have a lot of thoughts on the way they’d consume movies and the movies they’d love individually and together so…

i don’t think peter is a Total “film bro” but i do certainly think he enjoys the pretentious more than sam does. my list of movies that i deeply believe changed the trajectory of peter’s life includes: spotlight, american beauty, phantom thread, se7en, the social network, ex machina, nightcrawler, and gone girl. spotlight came out just before av happened and i think 15 year old peter was Never the same after that. he was like oh my god i Need to do this. personally i didn’t like american beauty but i think he’s the type that would be changed by it at least when he was very young. i think he went into phantom thread expecting to not care abt it much but left thinking abt it for days and days on end and probably saw himself in it a little. se7en because. come on tell me he Wasn’t speechless after seeing that shit. same with the social network. like what do you want me to say. i think ex machina because i just do i just think he’d like it. nightcrawler because. (gestures) come on. and gone girl because i have this funny idea that sam and peter watched that together and both left changed for veryyyy different reasons. i think he’d also enjoy argo i forgot to mention that. but to answer the question of what would be in his top four… i’m gonna go with spotlight se7en nightcrawler and the social network… that feels right to me…

as for sam… i think sam has No tolerance for any of the shit peter enjoys. he’s not stupid by any means but he watches movies to have FUN ONLY!!! NONE OF THE BORING SHIT PETER LOVES!!! once on a whim i actually Did make sam’s letterboxd (ecklundmovies00 if anyone’s interested. i tell a story through that account it’s canon to me) and his actual letterboxd top four on there consists of: hot rod, the greatest showman, the lego batman movie, and spiderman 3. it just feels So right to me. it’s just true. honorable mentions to pitch perfect i think he’d love it very much and i believe he left 2018 forever changed after seeing love simon and call me by your name i think he certainly had a lot to unpack that year.

bonus thoughts i think they both force each other to watch movies the other Hates (peter often telling sam he doesn’t take things seriously and can’t recognize good cinema and sam complaining that peter hates fun and only loves boring shit.) however they do find some things they agree upon. one movie they can agree upon is clerks. peter likes it from a filmmaking standpoint and sees it as admirable since it was made on such a low budget and sam likes it because he thinks it’s funny and kind of wishes he could be randal. one of the Greatest truths i’ve decided on is that their one joint cinematic voice is the movie hot rod. it’s so shitty and yet anytime they need to distract themselves from the world they turn it on they’ve seen it together easily 15+ times. because of this they were also some of the only supporters of popstar: never stop never stopping when it came out. documentarians have to support documentarians! i also think they watched all of sherlock together and had a massive obsession with it they were using that av room to pick apart tjlc I KNOW IT! i also think they enjoyed seeing the most recent star wars trilogy and recent james bond movies together in theatres. i don’t know how much they enjoyed the movies themselves but they loved the ritual. but other than that there’s very little middle ground. can you tell i’ve been dying to talk abt this lmfao sorry. did that answer your question

[cringecompilationin480p]

tf2 mercs and the smokes i think they would pick up from a gas station. source: i work at a gas station

reasonings below the cut:

scout: i chose newport red shorts for him because i feel like he would think menthol is for losers. newports to me are a very. basic cigarette. the layman's cig. i also find newports, especially red newports to be a little nasty lol. also i dont see him as much of a cigarette smoker but i do think he smokes every once in a while, esp if hes really stressed out or had a bad match. his 1 box will last him a few months. after a while i think he would switch to newport gold shorts, as theyre lighter.

soldier: i know theres a lot of art of soldier smoking cigars, esp blue soldier. while i don't disagree with that notion, i dont think hes coming into a convenience store and picking up a pack of cigarillos. i went with lucky strike red shorts because theyre an All American cigarette and have been around forever. theyre on the cheaper side as well and he smokes them in Emesis Blue. i didn't go with american spirits because theyre advertised as an "organic" cigarette, and i feel that he would find that to be pretentious and an overall turn off. also american spirits are more expensive.

pyro: i dont think pyro is a tobacco smoker. if the pyro is smoking anything its going to be weed wrapped in a banana backwoods. banana is one of the more strange flavors backwoods has, and i feel like they would go for something on the fruitier side. i also chose backwoods because backwoods fucking rule and the shits look like twigs bc theyre full leaf wraps. i also feel like they would choose banana because none of the other mercs would want to smoke that.

demo: with demo it was more a process of elimination than anything. i dont think he's a cigarette smoker. so i went with a cigarillo because i can so very clearly see him smoking one. i don't think he would go for swishers as a lot of them are fruity, and that doesn't seem up demo's alley. i went with white owl sweets because theyre simple and straight forward, and i feel he would like a pack of sweets. to be honest, im a little shaky on this one, but i don't think anything else would suit him besides like. game greens. to be fair, i don't think he smokes much, and would probably go for something higher quality and hand wrapped if he was smoking a cigar. overall he would get these if he needed something quick and cheap.

heavy: idk about other stores but my store has 1 million dorals and nobody is buying them except for maybe one person every 6 months. heavy is that person. if heavy is smoking anything he's smoking light 100s because i can't see him smoking or liking a rich or full flavor cigarette. also dude is big so he's not getting shorts because they're too small and will be gone in two seconds. these smokes are a mystery to me; i have no idea of the quality or price range. but in my mind i can see him coming up to my counter, asking for these, and leaving without a word.

engie: i almost went with marlboro southern cut for this guy but it felt too on the nose, even if i think he would enjoy the smoke of those. i went with honey bourbon backwoods instead. the flavor seems right up his alley, and i can clearly see him asking for these at a convenience store. as to what he does with them... i can see him smoking them as they come in the package, or using them as a wrap. overall engie looks like he drinks good whiskey, and these cigars look like good whiskey. well... bourbon.

medic: i had a hard time deciding what medic would smoke and went thru all the brands i know of. at first i discounted marlboro because of how commonly bought they are, figuring he would smoke something weirder. but when i came back to it i had figured he would enjoy menthols, and i landed on marlboro menthol blue 100s. he wouldn't go for full flavor, as they would irritate his throat. i feel like smoking these shits would be like sipping cold water after having mint gum. i mean, they're described as "smooth" and "cool." medic is smoking basically spearmint and cold water, but not enough to the point of where he's buying a pack of marlboro ice and its variants of gum package looking cigs.

sniper: i chose cheyenne menthols for him because to me sniper looks like he loves old school shit. the youngest person i have seen come in and buy these has been maybe 40. i don't think he would go for a basic cigarette. cheyennes are box cigars, and a box of these goes for under $3, and typically have more tobacco in them. i feel as if he would enjoy that as well as menthol full flavor, and the smokes themselves are brown instead of white. i can see him smoking a brown looking cigarette so clearly. also the packaging has an outdoorsy look to it lol. basically, i just Know he would go for these. if he was going to go for anything else, he might smoke camel menthol wides. he would also pick up zig zag unbleached cones for his joints.

spy: look we all know spy is smoking that hoity-toity imported french bullshit but if for whatever reason he had to pick up a pack a cigs from a mobil or something it would be parliament blue 100s. i already think he smokes 100s in general, and would go for parliaments because theyre expensive. where im from they sell for like $13 a pack and its always dudes in suits and/or gold chains asking for these things. the packaging isn't an issue here as spy keeps them in a case, but i don't feel like he would turn up his nose at it. overall these are his best option for a gas station cig.